Time to add another piece of my own personal insight. I know for some of you (especially those that know me and have talked to me one on one) will consider my words only to be sub par, I have discovered through my own experiences that I am often underestimated and allot of what I observe and have to say is something of vital importance. Tis not a bragging right, only a matter of somewhat established fact.

Everybody knows there are crazy things happening in our world, but what have we become reduced too? Are militias all about claiming the title for recognition or being a "key player" in organizing? When was this EVER a chance at earning the title of the patriot pagent.

I said before in my last post, which was taken in with positive reception, that the number one fundamental for all is to watch over you and your own, as that is the most important priority. In this entry, I am aiming for discussion on finding a realistic balance to how we persist in our efforts at maintaining freedom and restoring it.

I believe most would probably say I'm an extremist that's always on edge and has a chip on his shoulder. Or someone with too much angst to really understand what's at stake and someone who needs to be seriously mentored. And to varying degrees, this is probably the truth. Exaggeration exists where it concerns my outlook on things. I will have you know I am not of extremes and finding balance is the only way for hope. No more titles, no more ranks, no more fame or popularity games.

Some of the negative reputation in what it is we are involved in is well deserved and brought on only by ourselves. It is in many ways a joke and simply one extreme combating another. I do not desire to be involved in extremes. It is less an issue of "walking the walk" as it is taking baby steps and finding clarity in our lives. "When you start dreaming about the good, is when you should worry the most." My resolve lies in the heart of who I am at my very core. Not by my tactical knowledge or prowress. Not by any impressive skill sets or my capabilities in overwhelming enemy "targets." I face much uncertainty in my life, but I know that I have endured this much struggle and this much hardship to come to this point for a g****** reason no one else can determine or understand for me.

I have cheated death, witnessed friends pass into the unknown in ways which will psychologically transform you and how you view life. My life now is never as it was prior to these significant points in time. I am now only able of hearing background noise to my life's narrative. I know that I must be dedicated to defending American values like any responsible and accountable citizen. What I don't know and refuse to accept are the packaged answers I am often given about how to go about doing this and that and still not managing to make "enough" individuals happy with my performance or living up to vague standards.

I have written this primarily to those who believe they have a "good idea" of what kind of person I am, you know who you are. But I hope this will reach the commoner on here as well, as that is always my intention. In truth, I do not hold grudges, I do not "hate", and I very seldom these days hold resentment. I only have degrees of separation between myself and my proclaimed "enemies."

Everyone here should have an agreed upon idea of right and wrong. Unfortunately, we spend too much damn time on worrying about the right and wrong of what we do. And our energy expenditure suffers tremendously for it.

How many here are brave enough to be honest and open with themselves? Or are we do busy trying to build up a special status or public image for the militia, deluding ourselves into believing that one day we'll be branded "heros."

I am no hero and do not seek after that title. In fact, do not even bother calling me a "patriot." I am simply an American. Someone who has lost all touch with their enthusiasm and sense of pride. All that remains are feelings of coasting the river like driftwood. I am a message in a bottle sent out to sea within close range of a volcanic eruption from a tropical island. I am someone who disagrees and disputes the mentality of current political trends, and can only hope something will come of my revelations which can add to the greater sum of all the individual parts.

I am an American, nothing more and nothing less.